It was a cold spring day in Coronado, CA 2011 as I stood on the beach reflecting back on the previous weeks of training that led to this moment. I had just failed out of a major training program that I volunteered for and was selected to attend. My pride was hurt and my heart felt heavy as I thought of all that I had learned throughout the preparation and application process of this training course. I learned a great deal about myself, such as my bodies capabilities, limits, and mental determination. Being selected for Naval Special Warfare’s SWCC training is an accomplishment and hurdle within itself.
It all began about three years prior to that day while I was stationed in Gulfport, MS at Naval Mobile Construction Battalion 133. I chose to make a change in the direction of my life and career as I set out on a path to attend one of the most difficult military training programs there are. SWCC which stands for Special Warfare Combatant Craft Crewman is one of the top two most difficult Naval schools with an extremely high attrition rate averaging around 80%. Which means simply, on average, only 20% of the candidates that begin the course complete the course. The decision to become one of the elite and work with the quiet professionals of Naval Special Warfare was an easy decision to make. However, the work and effort that I had to put into the goal I set before myself was a difficult one. Essentially I would need to mold myself into a hardened athlete.
For over two years’, day and night, when time allowed I conducted physical and mental training to condition myself for the program. Meanwhile, I had to maintain my day job in the military that I was assigned as well as manage my home life of being a father and husband. I had one biological daughter as well as a stepdaughter and stepson. Which created its own difficulties with spending family time with them. My kids would ask regularly about being able to go places to have fun and I would not be able to because my training schedule was strict. At night after long runs if I was able I would rock my daughter to sleep and I often would fall asleep with her in my arms. The older two would occasionally join me when I would run by riding there bikes and asking questions about what I was doing and why. The most common question from the kids and my wife at the time was “When are you going to have time for us?” These are some of the mental hurdles one must balance in the beginning of this long process as well as find the support at home to begin this journey.
To prepare physically for the program I knew that I needed to spend long hours honing my skills in the pool and open water. I also needed to have my core strength along with brute strength adequate to complete all the calisthenics and allow my body to be able to make it through each day of training. Miles and miles would be run in this school, to condition our legs and test our bodies limit and mental capability. There is a physical performance test one must complete within the required standard for entry into this program. However, that is only an entry test and one should not stop with only being able to pass at the minimum. One thing about this community of Special Warfare is the attitude of the individuals being the best, the strongest, the fastest. Wanting to be first, because in a combat situation being in the back could mean being killed. To prepare I had to mentally envision myself and have an attitude of being elite in order to mold myself in becoming one of the elite.
Every night I planned out a routine or basis for the following days training. Sometimes I trained how I felt but always made sure I had a minimum that I would do for the day to ensure I got a good work out in and would be able to continue taking steps forward. At least three days out of the week I went to the rescue pool on base where I trained with Navy divers. I would arrive at 5:15am and begin with treading exercises to condition my legs as well as breathing. Then we would begin swimming laps focusing on the side stroke technique otherwise known as the combat swim. Being fast in the water meant smooth strong movements with both legs and arms to create a stream line body that cut through the water like a pointed spear. This took time to develop that very basic technique. The Navy Diver, Chief Kohler, that ran this program to assist candidates such as myself, would treat us as if he was an instructor at the school. When we would swim laps he would time us, and if our lap time did not get faster than the previous he would yell to do it again. While treading water or other strenuous exercises he would play mental games and ask if I wanted to quit, if I was not strong enough to continue, or how bad did I want it. A lot of stretching is required to be able to get your body to lay out flat in order achieve that swim stroke successfully. In addition to swimming and treading we needed to generally be comfortable in the water, which also means being calm and capable of holding your breath for extended periods of time while utilizing your hands in tying rope to objects below the water’s surface as well as buddy tows.
After my morning pool session, I usually followed it with a run between 3-4 miles. On days that I did not swim I would run distances between 3-8 miles. Never below 3 miles unless on the rare occasion that I ran a long distance the day before of at least 10 miles. I would follow that days run with a recovery run of 1-1.5 miles the following day. The runs were long and I wore through many of pairs of running shoes over the course of the two years as I prepared for the program. I suffered many basic injuries such as shin splints, soreness, blisters, chaffing, and general fatigue during this time.
Calisthenics were conducted on a daily basis and I generally rested on Sundays. The callisthenic exercises consisted of general things such as: pushups, sit ups, leg lifts, pull ups, and weight training. I developed a daily habit of randomly dropping down and doing a few sets of each of these as often as I could. In the school we would be conducting physical activities such as these throughout the day on top of long runs and long swims. Neither the running nor the swimming came easy to me. It took a lot of determination as well as devotion to hone my skills to be adequate in both. There were times where quitting is all I wanted to do. My wife would remind me when I felt weak of why I was doing this, she would tell me all the reasons I had told her in the past of why I wanted to go through the program. This reminder often helped me to keep my focus and drive to push forward with my goal. The pain from training takes a toll on a person’s body, it wears down the body both physically and mentally. I knew I could not stop because the goal was in my eyes and the desire was in my heart.
After two years of preparing and applying multiple times for the program I received a phone call from the Naval Special Warfare Detailer Chief Weinbeck at the time and he informed me I was finally accepted. Soon afterwards I found myself at the doorsteps of the Naval Special Warfare Center in Coronado, CA. Upon checking into the command I was assigned to class BCT-1, as well as issued uniforms and gear for the course. We were issued boots, BDU’s, wetsuits, fins, mask, Alice packs, as well as paddles. The paddles we had to carry with us in a certain manner and throughout the school the instructors would purposely break our paddles. At the conclusion of each day’s training we would have to fix the paddles, so that the morning of the following day it was as if our paddle were new again. Evenings and nights were spent cleaning our gear, repairing paddles, polishing boots, and applying first aid to our wounds of that days training. Blisters, chaffing, and athletes foot were all common medical issues we faced daily. Some sustained real injuries such as stress fractures and still continued the program. We would have daily discussions to try and help motivate one another. My swim buddy Pete would often tell me “the only easy day was yesterday.”
My class lost 20 out of the original 40 within the first 10 days of training. Some simply could not handle the mental games the instructors played with us or the abuse they dished out. We stayed wet and sandy all day as well as cold. On any given day we ran 6 miles total just to go to the chow hall for the meals that day. On days we actually ran it would be at least a 7-mile beach run on top of the 6 we would run for chow. Throughout the runs we would stop and conduct calisthenics both in the sand and in the surf of the cold Pacific Ocean. One day we completed a beach run and upon entering the galley for chow I found myself with all the symptoms of having heat exhaustion. My motor skills were poor, vision was blurred, and bodies core temp was high along with the skin on my hands being clammy. Fellow students gave me their water to drink as well as passed down fruit to me while standing in line for food. I took the time in the galley that day to eat and hydrate myself in order to be able to finish the day out. Pete came over to sit with me and we talked about how I was feeling and he reminded me of why I was here and why I was putting my body through the rigorous conditions. I was able to finish that day without any other incidents.
The following day of training we were doing some swimming drills in the Coronado Bay and it was overcast and cool out. After a couple hours into the evolution I once again found myself in bad shape. I lost most of my motor skills and had an extremely low body temp. I was on the verge of hypothermia and the instructors knew it. One difference between this school and any other school is in a situation like that a teacher or instructor would immediately begin to provide aid to the student. However, at this school the condition I was in, meant in that moment I was the classes weakest link. One instructor, Chief Gomez, singled me out and began to make promises to me that if I quit I would have a warm blanket along with a hot cup of coffee. He also started asking questions about what my wife was doing while I was in school. A technique they used to play mental games to break a person down in their weakest moments to see if they will quit. Essentially the instructors job in this type of school is not to build everyone up but to weed out the ones who truly deep down do not want to be there.
For me I continued on with assistance once again from my classmates. Who helped open my canteen for me to drink water as well as pack and carry my gear. Once an instructor saw I wouldn’t quit they pulled me aside to check to see how bad I really was and asked basic question such as my name and asked if I knew where I was. This told them I was still coherent. For the rest of that day I was monitored closely from a distance. It was a short time after this I sustained stress fractures on my left foot from a long beach run we conducted. I continued on with that injury for two more days before I was forced to throw in the towel and quit. I chose to quit the program because at the time I knew I only had a short period of time to heal and attempt the school a second time before I reached the age cut off limit of 28. I opted to quit to recover and come back. It was an extremely difficult decision to make and when I carried out my decision my eyes were filled with tears of failure. All of the time I spent and pain I suffered to prepare for this dream it ended in a blink of the eye. Not only myself but also my family suffered and paid the price of the journey I set forth three years before that day. I sat with my Proctor Instructor Garcia in his office to discuss my options. Unfortunately, quitting was the only one. Surprisingly he told me that he had a lot of respect for me as a student and the career that I had leading up to that point in time. This made me feel a little better about the outcome of my journey.
That evening I stood on the beach in Coronado and looked out over the Pacific as I reflected all of that I had over came and accomplished to have had the opportunity to be one of the few to attend the training. I may have not completed the course as I wanted to, but I learned just how far I am capable of pushing myself. I learned that the only easy day was in fact yesterday. That if I apply myself in the future as I did for this school I truly can accomplish anything I desire in life. I learned another saying from classmates that “if you don’t mind it don’t matter.” That statement in sense means to me if you don’t mind the task at hand then the pain that comes with the work to complete the task is all ok. I came to realize that I didn’t fail at all. My swim buddy Pete completed another two days of training after me before he also was forced to drop because of stress fractures in his foot. The class only had a total of 8 candidates at graduation day.
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